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The soundtrack to the start of my solo trip was the click-clacking of shoes at Paddington Station. I was heading to Bath, head filled with a mish-mash of plans and itineraries. Among them: see Pultenay Bridge, one of the few in the world with shops built into it; take in the view from Bath Cathedral; immerse in the undulating landscapes and history of Cheddar Gorge. The weekend was primed for adventure and the air tinged with the promise of new discoveries.
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At a bus stop near the city centre, I met Jay who helped me with some directions. She was a complete stranger, but we found affinity in our shared African roots within minutes. Her Uganda to my Ghana. I remember the sun glistening on her dark skin and the shifting light casting shadows on her face as she fidgeted. Something seemed to be gnawing at her.
Finally she blurted, “My daughter wants to do a gap year instead of going straight to university. My sister, can you believe it?”
“What does she want to do?”
“She wants to travel. Thailand. Cambodia. I don’t even know the rest! Where did she get that idea? It’s not like us!”
Judging from the flecks of grey in her hair, she seemed closer in age to an older aunty. Nevertheless, there was an immediate and familiar bond in her use of “my sister”. We were two people of African extraction who had both found new homes in Europe, thrown together by happenstance on a warm August afternoon in Bath. Her reference to “us” had not gone unnoticed, either. Us, who? Us, Africans. I sensed her innate fear and hostility to the idea of gap year travel. It was something often considered to be the reserve of intrepid young white people. Yet, here was her daughter, nurturing dreams of seeing far-flung places that had been heard of but not sampled.
I understood Jay’s concern in this vulnerable crossroad. However, from my perspective as an African navigating similar travel passions, sometimes to the bewilderment of older generations, I also recognised my unique position in the moment. Her daughter sounded like a kindred adventurer. So, I leaned forward and spoke earnestly about the spirit of discovery in “us”.
We too look at the horizon and wonder what’s beyond. The tug of wanderlust calls us to corners of the world beyond the familiar. We want to embrace more of the people and places we allow ourselves to experience. We do not have to “rush” to university just to tick that box. Gap years can be a positive time of learning for “us”, too.
“Let her go,” I finished gently. “She will return with a better perspective of who she is and how she’ll carve a space for herself in the world.”
Her mood was considerably lighter as she looked at me curiously. “So, do you live and work here in Bath?” I smiled my most winning smile. “No. I’m just a traveller here. My sister.”
We hurriedly exchanged phone numbers as our respective buses arrived, promising to stay in touch. Sadly, I lost Jay’s number along with others’ soon after during a phone repair job. In the weeks and months that passed, I thought about that afternoon often. Each time, I regretted not writing the number down in my notebook like the good old days before technology took over almost all of our interactions.
One year later, I got a phone call out of the blue. It was Jay. After much pressure from her daughter to reconnect with the woman who had changed her mind, she sought me out and told me my advice had been taken. In the end, the gap year had taken her daughter back to her African roots. She had travelled around West Africa, discovering more of the little-known continent she had ties to. Having returned chockful of new experiences, she had recently started a degree programme in Law and Politics.
I marvelled at this charmed piece of life in which serendipitous encounters reverberate powerfully.
Sometimes our travels help others embark on theirs.
Have you ever made a meaningful local connection while travelling? Share with me in the comments below…
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This is a beautiful story! Yes sometimes life leads us to these serendipitous meetings that remind us of just how connected we all are. I once read a quote that went something like “never expect your children to do as you did, for theirs is a different world than the one you grew up in.” It’s discouraging at times, as a black person, to hear so much about what “we” do and don’t do, traveling being one of those things. I’m happy you were there to be a gentle voice to help that young woman achieve her travel dreams and have such rich experiences. Thanks so much for sharing!
Love this comment! This is one of my favourite travel encounters ever. It almost seemed fated to happen – I wasn’t even meant to be at the particular bus stop at that point. But I’m so glad I availed myself for this conversation and little sis got to do her travels. “We” too love adventures like this. Thank you for reading, Tiffany.
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